You have to break the board with your bare hand.
Walk through the door that has been stuck for years.
Say good-bye to the Soulmate Love that it turns out was neither Soul. Mate. Nor Love.
Break the engagement.
End the marriage.
Turn down the contract.
Pull yourself off the grant.
Drop the course.
Let the business go.
Say “no” to the degree, and “yes” to life instead.
Sometimes in life you have to give up the very thing--
You know the one that has never really been the right fit from the start--
The thing that has been unraveling (sometimes for years).
There comes a moment in life when you have to walk away from the very thing that has been keeping you stuck.
I hear the shouting in your heart that this is not easy.
That this does not feel like the way.
Yet, some days, this monumental changing of things is the work that we were called here to do.
There is a phenomenon for not being able to walk away.
For not releasing, even though you know again and again the answer in your heart.
Did you now that inside each of us there is a counter force to living out our desires?
According to Kabbalistic lexicon, yetzer hara is the second self living inside of you deep under your skin in the shadow self.
Its sole agenda is to prevent you from self-actualizing.
It actively works to keep you from becoming who you are really meant to be.
Yetzer hara is the counter to the soul—“the source of all wisdom and goodness”—your neshama.
As if life weren’t hard enough…
There’s a force keeping you from living out your soul’s purpose.
There’s a force operating in opposition to your soul.
According to author Steven Pressfield, “This entity, the yetzer hara, is a self-sustaining and cunning intelligence whose sole aim is to block us from accessing the neshama and to block the neshama from communicating to us.”
Yetzer hara is responsible for sunk cost bias…
It is what makes investors throw good money after bad.
It is what keeps you waiting for the train that is never coming rather than find another way home.
It is what allows you to settle for less than good enough when stellar is standing on your doorstep.
It is what keeps you in the relationship that no longer serves you.
The one you know you’ve simply been settling for.
The one that is keeping you stuck.
Yetzer hara is responsible for myopic sight where you stare so long and so closely at something that you in turn develop microscope eyes and lose all foresight, insight, and in the end, hindsight ends up being 20/20.
Yetzer hara is responsible for inertia, status quo, standing still, staying stuck.
My wisest friend describes this stuckness this way—we get our heads caught in our own inner tar.
Afraid to move forward.
Afraid to move at all.
Spending too much time looking backwards even though that’s not the way we’re going.
It’s the nasty phenomenon of settling for less than or just barely good enough in our lives.
We aren’t miserable (well, not every single day).
Some days may even feel quite good for a moment. So why change?
Why risk at all?
Because you’ll never self-actualize if you stay stuck in your own inner tar.
You’ll settle for trying to make less than good enough be your life’s standard.
You’ll allow yetzer hara to achieve its cruel agenda of not loving you, not loving your soul, and prevent you from actualizing your Self.
And I’m here to tell you that’s not good enough for me.
And as your inner light, your lamp leading the way, I want better for you.
I always want what’s better for you.
So how do you get out of your own inner tar?
How do you un-submerge yourself from that inner muck, the inner stuckness that your head and heart is marred in?
It’s realizing and accepting the very truth of what Robert Holden teaches us—“In real love, you don’t want to be an obstacle to each other’s happiness, even if that means that you go your separate ways. So divorce can be an act of love. The form of the relationship will change, but the love will remain.”
Divorce can be an act of love.
What a simultaneously terrifying and magical thought…
So let me ask you, “What in your life do you need to divorce?”
What person, thing, experience is standing as an obstacle to your happiness?
Who or what is it time to let go of?
Answer the question.
Take all the time you need.
I can be very patient here.
It’s a very brave answer or set of answers you’ll find that you will come up with.
And when the rain strikes, and it pours down thunder in your heart, because I know just how hard this is. (I’ve been here. I’ve done this too).
Know that I’m right here beside you…holding you in the rain helping you through the very thing you think you cannot do.
And in those moments when you feel you are breaking…
Just know that you aren’t.
You are stretching, growing, learning what it means to walk away from the very thing that has been keeping you stuck.
You are self-actualizing into the Beautiful Soul that you came here to be.
And that will attract in so much of the very best stuff—the best love to last forever, your most powerful writing, your creativity on fire, energy that moves mountains, art making to stir everyone’s soul, music creating to raise our spirits—the best of everything you’ve ever known.
That my dearest is worth everything.
So go on.
Do the very thing in life you think you cannot do.
I'm here waiting for you to get it done.
Ever guiding you,
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